Thank you to the Jeff Parker Foundation

Danny had a wonderful weekend and finished his last full week of radiation. Only two more to go after today. Today is a Chemo day, and I'm home with a sick little one. Carley, Danny and my mom are at the hospital and are prepared for the long day ahead.

This past weekend was a blast! Danny, Matthew, and Carley came over to my house for a visit. I live on the beach, and it was a beautiful day to run and play. I called Carley in the morning and said come on over, who knows when it will 60 degrees again. The kids had a blast building sandcastles, playing chase, finding rocks and sea glass. Danny loved the waves and even tried to get wet a few times. As the tide changed, we decided to head in and have lunch. The kids played some more in the house, had lunch and then it was time for the them to go. Carley took the boys to Plymouth for a date. They went to the playground and out for cupcakes at Cupcake Charlies. One of our favorite places for treats.

On Sunday, the Jeff Parker Foundation treated my family to a day at Gillette Stadium. We had a private tour of the stadium followed by free rein of the field. The kids played a game of football, practiced the Gronk spike, touched the goal posts, and even kick a field goal....Justin (our older brother) was the only one to get it through the posts. After the stadium tour, Woody and Lynn Beal, (board members of the Jeff Parker Foundation) treated my family to lunch at CBS Scene. Once we finished lunch, we went for a tour of the Hall of Fame. The kids loved every second. They dressed up in uniforms, listened in on a huddle, and pretended to ride in the duck tour parade. THANK YOU to the Jeff Parker Foundation, the board members, and the Kraft group for your generosity and time! The memories made yesterday will last forever!

I'd like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas. We are looking forward to our big family gathering tomorrow night followed by Christmas day at my parents house.

Here are some pictures from Gillette Stadium:

Danny's Facebook Page

My sister, Carley (Danny's mom), created a facebook page.  Please go on and like it:)

https://www.facebook.com/dannyswarriors

Today was day 29 of radiation. He has 4 more radiation treatments left. He is such a trooper and has been doing great this week with his treatments.

We have a fun weekend planned, I'll update again on Sunday after our exciting day The Jeff Parker Foundation planned for him....

Thanks again to our of our followers, family, & friends for all of the support.
Hayley

Chemo Champ!

Today is Thursday, feels like Wednesday, and I'm writing about Tuesday! If it tells you anything about this week, we've one heck of one. Busy, stressful, heartbreaking, fun, and encouraging. Days that start at 7AM and end around 9PM. They've had appointments, meetings, family time, etc. With all Carley, Dan, Daniel and Matthew having going on, I'm not sure how they are functioning. I'm exhausted, not there every day, and in it like they are..

Monday after Radiation, the crew (Carley, Dan, Daniel, Nana Janet, Grampa Dave) showed up at the Dana Farber clinic. They were expecting a long day with radiation, clinic and then chemo. When they showed up in the clinic, they found out their appointment moved to Tuesday. The doctors wanted Daniel to meet with a nutritionist. He had lost 5 pounds in the past month and caused concern for the doctors. He was already a boney little peanut. However, on Tuesday, when we returned to clinic he gained a whole 3 pounds!! We are not sure how because he has been getting sick on the rides in, but he did. The weight gain delayed the day, but that is okay. We'll take it.

Daniel started out on Tuesday with radiation. He slept for a while after and then off to lunch we went. I love walking around the cafe with him. He checks out each counter but always ends up at the salad bar....followed by the pizza counter. After lunch, we were off to the clinic. We played cars, watched the snow and played under the chairs. I set up a bed underneath Carley for him. He is extremely shy, and it was super busy in clinic. Lots of kids, lots of bald heads, lots of masks. He needed a getaway, and that is what we made for him. I laid on the ground with him and played with his Mario characters while he dug through my purse. He was looking for dollar bills so we could hit up the gift shop. He loves it in there! After the meeting with Dr. S, he had blood drawn and then we were off for a quick break. Guess where we went....the gift shop. He walked around, check out everything like he always does. He knows the store like the back of his hand. He picked out some gifts for his cousins...a watermelon head rest for Abby so she can swim, a monkey wine bottle holder for Mae because she loves monkeys, a few others that I can not remember. Finally, he came to a decision on a mustache pen that says "How you doin?" when pushed down to write.


We went back to the clinic to visit with Dr. M. He checked Daniel's strength, eyes, mouth and movement. Daniel did awesome. We have a few concerns: he is nauseous and the back of his head is hurting. Radiation has caused the tumor to swell, which is causing Daniel to be nauseous in the area around the tumor. We knew this was going to happen, for now we are increasing his Zofran dosage(an anti-nausea med) if it cannot control it he will go on steroids. The pain that is on the back of his head is from the radiation "sunburn". His hair around the radiation site has started to fall out. We knew this was going to happen, as well. His hair will only fall out at the radiation site. For the first time, I noticed a significant amount of hair that has already fallen out. I had a hard time looking at it. With my heart being ripped in two, I reminded myself not to check it out when Carley was around because I would get teary eyed. I didn't want to make her nervous.

Daniel's attitude has completely turned around. He was excited to head to the Jimmy Fund Clinic for Chemo. He remembered the fun hallway with the bike lane and the hospital bed that moves up and down. He was able to have the Wii system to himself. He jumped onto the bed and started to play. We shared a room with another little girl. She was adorable, quiet but very curious of Daniel. She looks as if she has been fighting for a while. He looks healthy, colorful, energetic. Daniel asked why the "baby" was looking at him. Five year olds crack me up, yet instantly give me anxiety. They seriously have no filter. We chatted a bit with her and her dad. She was working on arts and crafts. She was a bit shy but wanted me to see her snowman she had made. She finished up before Daniel's Chemo started, so we were alone. We had to wait a while because of Daniel's weight gain. His Chemo dosage had to be changed. The treatment was only an hour long. Daniel did an amazing job once again. We were in the car by 5 and on our way home in rush hour traffic. The Jamaica Way is always a fun ride home in the snow:)


On our journey with Daniel, we have made a few friends in Radiation.  One of our friends, Jesse, is not feeling well and has been admitted into the hospital.  He is in a lot of pain and could use lots of prayers.  Please pray for this warrior and his family.  He's been on his journey since he was 3 and is now 7.

Best Friends Forever!

Cousin's are many, Best friends are few, what a rare delight I find the both in you.

Today, Daniel completed week three of radiation! Daniel did AWESOME! Yahoo, we're half way there!

He had a visitor with him at radiation, Mae, his best friend and cousin (my daughter). The ride in was smooth, transition from car to playroom...smooth. Everything was smooth, maybe it was because of his visitor or he is just in a routine.

Daniel was excited to show Mae the place he visits everyday. He took control of the situation, like a true warrior, and held her hand as we walked into the hospital. Together, hand and hand, they ran to the elevators, knocking over everyone in their path (my apologies again to the poor old guy that had to jump out of the way). Five year old's are hard to contain. He pushed the button and helped her move to the back of the elevator. The doors opened and off they ran down the hallway to the playroom. He jumped on the couch and started playing the Wii. Mae sat at the table and started doing arts and crafts. They giggled and joked as the nurses did his vitals. Daniel cracks Mae up. He is the funniest person she knows. I know this because he is the only person that can get her to belly laugh (a nervous; I can not believe he is doing that laugh). When Daniel left for treatment, Mae wanted to go with him. I explained that Daniel had to take a nap while the doctors fixed his boo boo. She had a job to do while he slept. She delivered a bunch of toys to the Jimmy Fund Clinic, thanks to Mamas Move.

Afterwards, we walked to the cafeteria to grab Mae a snack. She would not eat breakfast because of Daniel. She wanted to wait for him. On the walk over, I noticed that she had tears in her eyes. I stopped her and asked if she had questions or concerns, but she pushed me out of the way and kept right on after I gave her a hug. She hurried to get back to him. She wanted to be in the room where he left her, she wanted to color him a picture and work on an ornament she picked out for him.

When we arrived back to the playroom, Daniel was in recovery. Mae visited with Courtney (the life coach) and did arts and crafts with Nana while I went off to be with Carley and Daniel. When I returned to the playroom, a new friend had arrived for his treatment. We've met the family a few times and love having the comfort of another family in the room with us. We chatted about "stuff" while we waited for Daniel to return. When he did he was ready to take his cousin out on a lunch date to the cafeteria. Again, they held hands and knocked everyone over as they ran down the hallway. It amazes me to see this little boy go from sleeping and attached to machines running, yelling, skipping down a hallway a few minutes after waking up. He looks like a healthy little boy. There is no sign of radiation, anesthesia, chemo or tumor. Just a happy little boy having fun with his cousin. How can he be sick?

On the way home, Mae had a ton of questions for me. I've been very open with her about Daniel's tumor. Since day one, she is worried about him. Kids sense sadness, worry, anger...they just know something is wrong. Today helped her understand that he is okay, that he is not in pain and that the people at the hospital are not scary. She saw him laughing. She saw his energy and funny personality return after the treatment. I've told her what a five year old can understand about the boo-boo on his brain. She fired off a bunch of questions. The ones I knew she was holding deep inside for the past month: Why does he have to go to the doctors every day? Why does not he go to school? Why does he have to take a nap at the hospital? What's on his head? Does it hurt? Does he cry? Why does he get mad and throw things? We talked the entire hour while we drove home from Foxboro.

When Daniel and Mae are together, which is almost every day, I find myself with tears in my eyes. My breath short, my heart aching. They love each other so much. No matter what they will be best friends forever!

A few of Daniel's cousins have joined him at radiation. It is essential for all of them to be there for him. He needs their support just as much as they need his. His cousins need to understand what is going on with him. All of them need to experience a day with him, so they are not scared of him. Scared of what is happening to him, scared of the doctors, scared of his treatments, scared of his frustrations. Just plain scared..

Thankful

To all of our friends, family, new friends and followers:

Thank  you for the support over the past month.  Our family truly appreciates it.

Since Thanksgiving was two days ago, I'd like to share what I am thankful for:

Family

Friends

Health

Love

Prayers

Faith

Generosity

Smiles

Silliness

Children laughing

Santa and his elves

and most of all

Doctors, nurses, therapists and many other helpers at Children's Hospital, Dana Farber and 

Brigham and Women's

Here's a video of our family on Thanksgiving.
(PS: my brother Justin is going to kill me, he works nights and was asleep before dinner started)

“I don’t know how you do it…"

Post from our sister-in-law Donna

I’ve often wondered this when thinking about what Carley has had to face. I’ve heard about the trips to the hospital and the endless appointments which have rarely been positive. I see what she goes through when we’re together; being the mother of 2 young boys can be a challenge on a good day! But I can only imagine all that she has to endure on a daily basis.

The following is an excerpt from a blog written by Patrice Kelly who can speak to this first hand, like so many other heartbroken parents. I work with Patrice’s sister, Michelle.  Patrice lost her daughter, 5 year old Charlotte, to neuroblastoma in 2011. Charlotte fought from the time she was diagnosed at age 2 1/2, until the very end. She was a warrior, just like Daniel.

“I don’t know how you do it is a phrase I often hear. It is a phrase I would say to someone who had a tragedy in his or her life. It is a phrase I would say when Charlotte was in treatment, and my new found cancer friends children died. It is not wrong or right to say it. It is a normal statement. In fact, it is a phrase I often ask myself. When people say it to me, I usually say “I don’t know how I do it either, but I am doing it”……“Doing it” is something I, and all of the other parents who have lost children, literally do not have a choice to do. We have to go on, carry on, live, eat, sleep, breath, function, and suffer. To “do it” is all we can do. Unless we give up. Which most of us will not. “Doing it” consists of faking it, screaming inside, feeling constantly alone (no matter how many people are around), pushing out disturbing memories, swallowing tears, and fighting the “cancer” demons that creep into our existence. “Doing it” is trying to fit back into your past life, which will never be the same or “ok”. “

Carley- We will help you “do it” in any way we can. And Daniel, we will never give up!

Don't call me that!

After a long day at the hospital, we returned home around 7PM. I had to get in the car after a two-hour ride from Boston to Foxboro, for another hour ride home to my house. I turned to Daniel and said good-night handsome, you did awesome today....His response, "don't call me that!" He cracks me up.  I love him so much it hurts!

Our day started out around 7:30AM. We arrived at the hospital at 9AM. First stop, radiation. He played the Wii with his Dad while we waited for the nurses to call him for his port access. He went in for treatment and we sat and talked with one of the social workers. Daniel's having trouble with waking up from his treatments. He hits, he yells and runs off. He's scared and anxious. Who wouldn't be.  Lots of unfamiliar faces standing over you as you fall asleep in one room and wake up to new faces in another room.  I'd freak out too. This doesn't happen everyday, but when it does happen it makes transitioning difficult. We have a plan in place and started working on it yesterday. 

He slept for over an hour after his treatment. He needed the extra nap and woke up happy. He ate breakfast, played the Wii and off we went to clinic. We met with his team of doctors and discussed his treatments. They checked his strength, walking and hand-eye coordination. He did awesome and smiled the entire time. Our team of doctors are inspiring, they keep the important tasks fun.

When we finished clinic, we walked to the Dana Farber building for infusion. Walking down the hallway, we had no idea what to expect. The hallway had a bike lane, thanks to the Pan Mass Challenge. We pretended to ride bikes as we raced down the hallway. Each of us holding back tears, with lumps in our throats as we raced each other with our smiling boy. Of course Nana and I were the silliest passing each other and driving the other people in the hallway nuts. Daniel was having fun, laughing out loud and that's all that mattered. We arrived in room 6, met our nurse and she got us set up for Chemotherapy. Dan found the Wii station and brought it in the room for Daniel. I set up his bed so he could sit up and play, while Carley filled out some paperwork. He snuggled into his fuzzy blanket and started his Mario game. He had no idea that his little body was having poison pumped into it. He smiled, he played, we laughed and ate for the 120 minutes of treatment. He finished up around 5PM. We jumped in the car, and started our journey home. Leaving the hospital, after a long day, with a sick kid is no fun during rush hour. Daniel was a CHAMP yesterday. I'm so proud of this little guy I get to call my nephew.

The most important person in the room is the child

Daniel has completed two rough weeks of radiation. Each day is different. He's been having difficulty getting out of the house each morning. Once he's in the car, he calms down and enjoys the ride until he realizes where we are. He becomes anxious and nauseous. We have to roll all the windows down in the car so that he feels better. Once we arrive at the hospital, things get a little better. He knows there is a reward at the end of treatment, plus he gets to play in the playroom until his treatment starts.

Every day is different, from waking up after treatment to car rides to the hospital. Today, he slept longer after treatment. He seemed disoriented when he woke up. He was angry, hungry and it took a while to get him settled.  Yesterday, he was so exhausted that he fell asleep on the ride to the hospital. The radiation is starting to catch up with him. 

Each day we plan a reward activity. Monday, we went to the Enchanted Village. Most of his cousins were able to join him. The kids had so much fun playing in the snow, riding the Polar Express and going to Ikea for dinner. Strange spot, I know, but the kids loved it and that's all that mattered. We (Gail, Carley, Mom and Dad) sat at a table across from the kids. They were laughing and joking around the entire time. It was THE BEST! Their laughter is contagious and I captured it on video without them knowing. Tuesday, Daniel went to the movies. Wednesday, it was cousin day again. We played at Gaga's before heading to Nana and Gramp's (home for Daniel). They did legos, played video games and watched a movie. 

Monday he starts Chemotherapy. He will receive Chemo every other Monday for a year. It will continue after he has completed his radiation, which ends on Dec. 26th. Next week is a short week for us. He will only go in Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. He gets to enjoy a long break over the Thanksgiving weekend.

My sister is so amazing. Her love for her boys is pure. They are her world, her life, her breath, her everything. She is strong and courageous. She smiles when she doesn't want to. She cries when she's alone. She does what she has to do because she is a mom. I wonder how she does it everyday. She has to, she has no choice. Mothers can do ANYTHING! You have to because you know that you're not the most important person in the room...the child is. 
 

Please excuse my pictures, I took them with my phone:(:(:(

 Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

Weekend Fun and Fundraising!

This weekend Daniel had a blast spending time with his cousins. They played all day yesterday at Gaga's and Big John's (his aunt and uncle - my older sister Gail) house. Gail and John's house is designed for kids. Huge yard and a basement to run wild. My sisters and I watched out the window as the kids played train, chase, had rides on the lawnmower and school. I took lots of video, because its rare to see them all getting along for such a long time. 

While we were playing, Daniel's father and family were fundraising at Salon 10 in Plainville. Here are some picture from the day:

Thank you to all that participated! 

"Brave"

Have you heard the song "Brave" by Sara Bareilles?

Every time I hear the song I picture these two people.  

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
See you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

God only created so many perfect heads, the rest he covered with hair

Today was day 5 of radiation, and it was my turn to drive in and spend the day with Daniel. I arrived at my parents house around 8:30 and helped Carley get Daniel ready to leave. This was my first morning with him since he started radiation and I'll be honest, it was difficult. He is angry, hungry and taking it all out on his mom, which is heartbreaking to see. She tries to make him happy with rewards and will do anything to just get him in the car. Avoiding the kitchen is impossible! No one eats or drinks anything until he is under and receiving his radiation.

Once we were in the car and moving he was fine. He played with my Ipad, and then his Nintendo DS. He was entertained the entire ride. We arrived at Brigham and Women's hospital, parked the car (a cool 27 degrees outside) and went down to the bottom floor to radiation. He showed me the playroom and we played with most of the toys. We built a castle out of blocks while he was given some medicine for nausea through his port. He covered his nose because he hates the smell of the alcohol wipe. We painted with dot paints and took turns smelling markers.  Little does he know I was cheating because I have no sense of smell:) Just as we started a game of tic tac toe they called his name. He gave me a huge and told me to hold off on our game until he came back. Carley walked him down the hall to the radiation room, he cried for a minute until he fell asleep.

I looked around the playroom at all the art work on the walls from the other patients. It broke my heart to see the ages of the kids. Why are kids getting cancer? Why do they have to go through these horrible treatments? Poison being pumped into their little bodies to kill poisonous blood cells. It infuriates me. These kids have such a positive outlook on life. They are smiling, playing, making new friends and having their hearts broken...a blog for another day. As I walked around the room I found this picture with the words, "God only created so many perfect heads, the rest he covered with hair."

It gave me chills, but put a smile on my face. It was exactly what I needed at that moment.

While he was in the room we chatted with the life coach specialist. We asked what is so scary about the room, how long the treatments last and why he goes to sleep. Having an 11 AM appointment is difficult for a hungry 5-year-old. He's not allowed to eat after midnight and by the time we get in there he is starving. He has to go to sleep to hold his head in place while wearing a scary looking mask. There are doctors, nurses,  and specialist in the room looking at him while he falls asleep. Talk about intimidating a 5-year-old, however, they are there to make sure he is safe. Other kids that are receiving treatments can stay still, however they don't have a scary mask holding them in place and are in for treatments for only 15 minutes. I can barely sit still for 5 minutes let alone in a machine for 30+ minutes. Sleep is the best way to target this tumor.

The nurse let us know he was done and that he would be wheeled by any second. We gathered our belongings and went to recovery. He was trying to get off the bed, but he was still asleep and the nurses needed to get his vitals before he could get in the carriage. His carriage is his safe place. Once they said he could be moved, we put him in the carriage and I wheeled him around to help calm him down. We went back the playroom area for a quick snack while he woke up. After a few bites of food he asked if we could finish our game of tic tac toe.  5-year-olds don't forget anything!

After he ate his cereal, we walked over to the Yawkey Center for Clinic. My emotions were all over the place, wanting to cry my eyes out walking into the radiation room, seeing how comforting all the toys were to Daniel, to walking back down the hall to Dana Farber.  How does my baby sister do this everyday?  When does she get to breakdown and cry?  How is she feeling inside?  I can't imagine how broken up she is.  I know she'll talk when she's ready, I know she'll share on here someday.   I wish I could hug her all day and tell her it's going to be okay.  She has so many people around her holding her up and praying for them daily.

Clinic day always falls on a Wednesday, at every hospital, I remember from my days at Shriner's. We walked into the crowded waiting room, filled with lots of kids with bald heads and huge smiles. Overwhelmed, Daniel jumped out of the carriage and ran back to the elevators and pressed the down button just as one of the doors opened and jumped into the elevator. Good thing I was right behind him to get him off. Only problem with picking him up, you CAN'T because of his port. I had to scoop him up like a baby.  After a few minutes he felt comfortable walking into the crowd and found a toy to play with until the nurse called his name. He was brave getting his blood drawn via the port. Then we met with the team of doctors. They checked his strength, watched him play and checked in his mouth. The doctor told him he had a blue tongue, and of course like any other 5-year-old he tried to look at his tongue until he decided I needed to take a picture so he could see it.

We went over the next steps in his treatment. He starts Chemotherapy on November 25th and will have it every two weeks. He should not get sick from the Chemo and will not lose his hair.

After his appointment we had a little pizza party in the café before heading home.  As we walked back to the car over the hospital connectors, Daniel sat down in one of the hallways.  I knew exactly what he was thinking...slippery floor, slanted hallway, maybe I can slide down to the other side.  Everyone in the hall burst out in laughter because they all thought the same thing.  Come on Dana Farber, you make things fun for sick kids, why not make a hallway made of slides?

Quick update - 4 treatments down!

Daniel had a fun-filled weekend with his parents.  They went to Plimouth Plantation on Sunday and enjoyed the day in Plymouth.

Daniel was less anxious about his treatment yesterday and today.  He slept a little longer after treatment yesterday, woke up and went home.  Today, he woke right up, was a little angry, ate some food and went to Big Nana's house for a quick visit. 

Tomorrow is my day to take Carley and Daniel into Dana Farber.  I will update again tomorrow.

Thank you to all who are following us and for your generous donations to Carley, Dan, and Daniel! 

Two down - Let the WEEKEND begin!

Daniel was a warrior this week. He completed two radiation treatments and started to fall into a routine. On Thursday, he was less apprehensive about the needle because he knew he wouldn't feel it. He was cranky and hungry, but walked into the room with a few tears. The late morning appointments are tough since he cannot eat after midnight, but that will change next week. Carley greeted the nurse in the hallway after he completed his first treatment. Some kids wake up happy from anesthesia, others wake up tired....Let's just say the nurse asked Carley if she could talk to him about using his words and not his fists when he wakes:) Poor little guy.I got to spend time with Daniel after his treatment. Let me tell you, he had his energy and laughter back. He was jumping around, playing games with Mae, Abby and Matthew and laughing at a show on the computer. His laughter is contagious!He fell asleep around 7PM but woke up sick at some point in the night. Carley gave him some anti-nausea medicine to make him feel better.Friday, was much easier. He was ready to go in, his appointment was a little later and much shorter. When they arrived at the hospital, the life coach greeted them. She promised Daniel an Ipad to play with, which she brought in from home. The Ipad helped distract him while Daniel waited to be called. He got up, walked into the room and asked Carley to hold him while he fell asleep. Carley was standing next to him when he woke up, he ate some food and off they went home.

A few people are asking "How can we help?"  or "Can we send a card or gift"
We have set up a PO Box for Daniel.  Please feel free to send here:
Daniel Nickerson
P.O. Box 212
Foxboro, MA 02035